I am glad that this was posted because online dating has a very bad rap and I found it to be a very good thing.
When I was dating online I posted a very brutally honest description of myself. It was pretty long and it detailed who I was and what I was looking for. I didn’t try and make myself sound different; I wanted any date to like me for me. So I was very up front and honest.
I was on a site that let people know when they were being looked at. But I didn’t know this and I had checked out the profile of a woman a few times but didn’t message her. She said she did not want drama and I was still going through divorce and so I was gunshy.
Well, apparently, she found out I kept looking. So she went to see “Who is this guy who keeps looking at me but isn’t saying anything?” And she saw the wall of text self-description. She tells the story here and there that she thought “Well, either this guy is full of shit or he has something to say” and started reading it.
Part of the way down she says she realized that she could have been reading about herself.
So she contacted me and straight-up asked why I had been checking her out and not messaging her. I replied that I was not sure she’d be interested but that I was. So we setup a date.
We met for dinner. I always thought a first date should be in public and have a time limit just in case either side was not into it. But we instantly clicked.
We decided dinner was not enough and went to a local bar/club with a band and hung out for a while. There another couple asked how long we were together and we said “a few hours!”. They thought we had been together for years.
After that we walked on the beach and I told her I was going to kiss her (which she loved in terms of a man taking charge). First kiss —and it was on the beach under moonlight!
I had to drive her back to her car afterwards and we still did not want the date to end. We were giddy. She asked if I wanted her to come over for a bit to my place, I agreed.
(No, we didn’t. To answer the obvious question. We’ll get to that…)
We hung out for a few hours and talked and snuggled on the couch. Finally, she said she had to go and I drove her to the resturant and her car. On the way to the car I could hear her whisper —I thought for my benefit but apparently I was not supposed to hear: “I was a good girl! I was a good girl! I was a good girl!”
I found out later that she really wanted to sleep with me but decided I was a “keeper” and not to rush it. Which didn’t last long; we crossed that threshold the next night.
So I’ll gloss over the private next night. And third night. And that weekend we hung out. By the end of the weekend we were basically just boyfriend and girlfriend. We never went through a “dating” period except for that first night.
Fast forward a year and a half and we were exchanging wedding vows.
She is a wonderful woman. I have never met anyone in my life that I so instantly felt a bond with. We understand each other wordlessly and I love her with all of my heart.